A thought from the Ensign

Wow, apparently I haven't posted anything since November! How time flies. I break my non-blogging streak today as my second 1060 class takes their test. I've been filling the time by shopping for climbing shoes and reading the Ensign for this month. Test days are so exciting like that...

Lately the Ensign has been having an article or two specifically for the young adults. I'm really glad that they do that. Sometimes I feel like we could almost have our own magazine like the Friend (and it would probably include a cartoon strip and search and find pictures in it too). At the end of one of these articles in this month's Ensign they had a side bar with a quote from Pres. Uchtdorf: “[Heavenly Father] didn’t send you on this journey only to wander aimlessly on your own. He wants you to come home to Him..." only when I read it my brain read "He wants you to come unto Him..." both good. I'm going to talk about the second one...

I've been feeling a little adrift these last few years, like it didn't matter what I did or where I went- as long as I wasn't getting into trouble. It's hard to sit in church and have people talk about how they've been specifically guided as to where to go or what to do in their lives. It's sometimes hard to hear the promises of leaders and in talks that 'If you only ask the Lord will show you what He wants of you" and feel like you're just getting left alone. Sometimes the things people say can mess with your head, honestly. You start thinking "Well, maybe I'm just not being faithful enough", or "Well, maybe it really doesn't matter what I do with my life. Maybe there is no plan for me" or whatever. I think that's why Pres. Uchtdorf's words meant so much to me as I read them. No matter whether there is a best place for me to be right now, or best thing for me to be doing, or if this is just burning time for a while- no matter what I always have a purpose and direction. That is to come closer to Christ and my Father in Heaven. That is always a cause to be actively pursuing.

When I first started rock climbing I mainly went with my friend Mark. I would get part way up the climb, far enough that the holds and best route aren't really visible from the ground, and I'd get stuck. I wasn't very trusting in my shoes yet, and I was inexperienced in falling (it's really not bad. That's what the rope and harness are for...) and so I would stand on whatever footing I had and feel around for something big enough to hold onto or step on. Eventually I would call down to Mark "Where do I go?" His response was always the same "Up!". Not really what I was looking for, but exactly right. It doesn't matter what holds I use or route I take, as long as I'm going up I'm closer to my goal. When you move side to side it can become more dangerous the farther you go. Now when I take people climbing and they ask that to me I answer happily, "Up!" (And then laugh inside at their dismay, cuz I've totally been there.)

Similarly, when we get stuck in life often times we want a specific answer- go here, do this, don't do that. We will receive those as needed, but most often I think the answer is just "Up." Do what you need to do to learn of Christ, teach of Christ, follow his teachings, and come to know him better.  Repent, make better habits, try harder to spend more time or better quality time with Him and his words. If we're doing that then we will not be lost, rather we'll have an assurance that we are on the right path in the part that matters most. And, then when those specific directions are in order we'll be in tune to understand them and have the faith to follow.

An unusual thanksgiving list

It's Thanksgiving day and I thought I would join in the spirit of the day by saying a few things that I am grateful for. Naturally I am grateful for my family, health, schooling opportunities, friends, house, car, clothing, computer, and country. I'm especially grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ that gives me direction and hope every day. But I've had a few things this last week or so that I've become aware of that I've realized how grateful I am for.

I'm grateful that I have learned to choose to be happy. I was blessed to have a generally happy personality from the get go, I don't often get down in the dumps for long. But of course it's not sunshine and roses all the time. There are times it's ok to be sad, so I'm definitely not saying you have to be grinning like a fool happy 24/7, but you definitely don't have to be in the depths of despair every time something doesn't go your way. One of the catch phrases from this last summer was "It's ok, the church is still true." I'm grateful that I learned to have that attitude a long time ago. Things aren't going your way? It's ok, things will work out. Eat some ice cream then pick yourself up and go enjoy the sunshine and the good things around you. God's got your back, trust in him and you'll be just fine.

I'm grateful that I love to read. It's not something I am always in the mood for, but I really love books and reading. I received a surprise a while back when the Wall Street Journal showed up on my driveway. It's part of my Christmas present this year from Christine. At first I thought, what am I going to do with this? But I've really enjoyed it. I read the BBC news regularly, blogs, history, fiction, church books...  I gain a lot, I feel, through reading and I'm grateful that it has been a part of my life from the start.

I'm grateful that I learned to be socially proactive. It's still nice to be invited to do things, but I no longer wait for it. I figure, I'll invite people and if they don't want to play they'll say no. I can't even imagine where I would be today if I hadn't learned to change that attitude after high school. I certainly wouldn't have the great friends I have now or have had in the past. I'm grateful for my friends and the great times we've had together and the things I've learned from them.

I'm grateful that I have learned to give people the benefit of the doubt. I've learned that the way someone behaves towards me probably doesn't have much to do with me. I've learned that I don't know what's in people's heart and for the most part people try their best. I've learned a little bit about compassion and trying a bit harder to be a bit more like Christ. I still fail miserably a lot, sometimes inadvertently sometime cuz I'm just not there yet, but I see progress and that makes me thankful for the Savior and his Atonement that makes it possible.

And I'm thankful for my brain and the way it works. I'm really grateful that I'm a logical thinker and can usually maintain some sort of objectivity and think through problems and find answers. I'm sure I'd be grateful for whatever cranial talents I received, but I like the ones I did.

Well, don't know what you got out of that, but I hope you can find some more things to be grateful for this season of thanksgiving- beyond the standard list. Have a great turkey day!

Once, we had a band.

Once upon a time Tanner, Tia, and I played a song for our ward talent show. A little while later Tanner, Abby, and I played a different song for Tanner's ward talent show. (It's the last one we play in this video) Then we added Becca and we had our band. Tanner plays the guitar and writes most of the music. Abby plays the accordion. I play the ukulele and tambourine and hand drum. Becca plays violin. She's pretty great. I don't know if she ever plays the same thing twice, she just makes it up as she goes. Unfortunately she leaves for Romania for her mission later this month. But, maybe we can find someone else to fill her shoes somewhat. Anyway, we played a show at the local venue a while ago. We played mostly songs Tanner wrote and one by the Decemberists. (it's the last one.) Ashley was kind enough to video it. She was on the front row, so not all of us fit in the screen- but it's ok, tambourine's the least fun to watch. Enjoy!

Blessings in strange forms

Sometimes I have stories from my life that I think- boy, if I ever were to speak at General Conference this would be a good story for that... Don't pretend like you've never done that. Ok, so maybe not GC, but maybe one day I'll tell it in a talk or a lesson or something. Story time:

Once upon a Tuesday, about a month ago, I was heading up to campus for my afternoon class and was then going over to Ashley's house so I didn't ride my bike but drove instead. I was thrilled to see a spot open at the bottom of Old Main Hill and snatched up the parking spot. I went to class and did some homework for a while then headed back to my car. I got in, started it up, checked for cars on the road, and then spotted something on my windshield. It was yellow. It made me sad. It was a parking ticket. Apparently at some point since last time I was a student they changed that whole side of the street to 3 hour parking. I was parked right in front of a sign saying so, but in my haste to make it to class I didn't even notice it. I definitely deserved the ticket, but I was still upset by it. As a teaching grad student I got paid each month for my teaching the previous month. This means I didn't get paid until the beginning of October, so basically I was on a tight budget in September. I had many more things I wanted to spend $20 on. But I put it out of my mind by shoving the ticket in between the seats of my car, planning on returning to it when I was a bit calmer. Yeah, didn't happen. Because of that the price increased to $40, which really made me sad. But at least now I could wait until I got paid to pay it, then it wouldn't be as big of a hole in my wallet.

Fast forward a couple weeks. I check my phone after a class and see I got a voice mail from Mom. It was telling me that I got a letter from the police about my ticket. I called her back and explained what happened, so not to worry about the letter. As we say goodbye Mom said something about getting on it and paying it soon so the price doesn't go up. Um, the ticket was almost a month ago, the price has gone up. But the letter apparently said that if I paid it within 10 days of getting the letter I'd only pay the $20 original fee. Sweet! So I had Mom scan in the letter and email it to me so I could hold them to that when I went to pay my ticket, who wants to pay $40 if you can get away with $20? I open up the email and first thing that stands out is the line that says "Make: subar" and I thought "subar? Does that mean Subaru? I don't drive a Subaru..." then I noticed the license plate had 5PM as the last 3 digits. I don't have my license plate memorized, but I would if it had 5pm in it! This surely wasn't my car. The ticket was for residential parking violation, not even the same place as mine. I didn't quite know what to do. I laughed a little and stared at the screen in disbelief a lot. I didn't even know who I'd go talk to in order to get it straightened out. Then a shiny blue button on the screen caught my eye "Appeal". Done. Reason? It's not my car!

Today I got an email in response to my appeal. Somehow something got crossed when they were putting in tickets and my address ended up with someone else's ticket. As a consequence they decided they'd scrap the late fee on my actual ticket if I'd appeal it or give them a call. Yeah, I think I can do that. When I read the email I just laughed. Who'd have thought that accidentally getting the wrong ticket letter could be a blessing?

I think this is pretty representative of life. So many times we look at something that's happening and think "Why? It's just weird/not fair/hard/sad/awkward...." but really without those moments we wouldn't be able to receive blessings later on. I think it's also a good reminder that even though we make mistakes and don't always make the best choices if we will turn to the Lord there is a way for things to get fixed. I had thought a couple of times about how I could get them to not charge the late fee (wishful thinking, you know) but never in my wildest dreams would I have come up with a scheme like that. Turns out Heavenly Father's a pretty smart dude. I definitely deserved the ticket and the late fee, but I'm glad that Heavenly Father saw it as an opportunity to remind me that he's there and cares about even the relatively small things going on in my life.

Ok, maybe it's kinda long for a talk, but still a pretty cool story I think. I guess a blog post will just have to do for it.

Waders!

I fear I'm in danger of becoming one of those bloggers that really belongs on instagram or tumbler. I keep taking pictures of things with my crummy little phone camera (my better camera broke if you'll recall.) and thinking I'll blog them. I also keep thinking of things that I wish I had a picture of to blog. Well, I guess I'll feed that tendency and share with you a delightful picture of me in fishing waders.

They belong to a boy in my ward named Nick. If you're familiar with the trip to Swiss Days last weekend, he's the one that drove down and brought all his fishing gear. We went to the fair then went fishing since Mom and Dad weren't home yet. We went to a place off Midway Lane on the Provo River and learned how to fly fish. That's the picture above. We went again yesterday on the Logan River. I looked pretty much the same just with a jacket on under the waders this time. I didn't really need the waders for the Provo River, it was a nice day and the water was pretty fine. I just wore them because it was silly and I like silly things. (note the size of the shoes, silly is the right description. I felt like a fishing clown in those.) Yesterday I wore them because it was overcast, occasionally rainy, and the water was cold. I would have been frozen through after 30 minutes, so it was good he had them. I guess an alternative would also to have simply stayed on the bank of the river, but that's harder and less fun, so waders it is!

I can see why fly fishing is alluring... reels you in... (what other puns can I make?) easy to get hooked on...
You go out to a peaceful place on a river, usually by yourself or with only a few people, stand in the water and just fish and enjoy nature. It wasn't quite that calm and peaceful either time I went just because we were learning and had lots of tangled lines and snagged trees and trying to find a good spot to cast from. But usually it's just you and nature. Nick said he really likes fly fishing because he feels really cool after tricking a fish. I personally don't think tricking a fish sounds that awesome, but I know what he means.

Now because I said 'tricking a fish' I feel we should all go enjoy the Bad Lip Reading version of Twilight, the first one. "Dude, you slapped a fish!..."  Enjoy! (You'll like it, even if you don't like/have never seen Twilight. I haven't, and I thought it was great.)
http://youtu.be/FmxSk0wZxss

What watching a fake vlog made me think.

I just spent probably over 400 minutes (yes, that's over 6 hours...) watching a... um, how is this best described.
There's a thing called a vlog. It's a blog, but video. Well, someone did a modern rendition of Pride and Prejudice in the setting of a series of 100 vlogs by Lizzie Bennet. (It was really interesting how they modernized it. You know it's good when it's a book you've read a ton and seen several movies of and you still felt compelled to watch the next video to see what happens next! Also they suck you in. Each of them are only 3 - 5 minutes so you think... sure, what's one more? Next thing you know it's 2 in the morning. True story.) (hmm, now there is a P&P that's 6 hours. Since we all know that the A&E one is actually only 5 hours.. it's 6 episodes. But 5 hours...)
Anyway, I watched them all (cuz I'm a nerd) and around the middle I got a sudden desire to start a vlog. I mean, wouldn't I be so much better at vlogging than I am at blogging? I would just have to speak it instead of typing it! So easy! But then i realized- I really wouldn't be any better. The problem isn't that it takes so long for me to type a blog post or anything, I'm just lazy and lack real motivation. I would have the same problem when it came to recording and editing a vlog. I thought, this summer, that EFY would be so great for my family emails and blog. I would have time at night waiting for the kids to fall asleep where I could just sit in the hall and blog away. Well, when it comes down to it I'd rather chat with other counselors or read my scriptures or fall asleep in the hall in weird positions that type a blog post at the end of a long day when my brain feels like mush. It's true. (My brain doesn't feel like mush today. Hence the post.) (P.S. when I went to type 'brain' in that last parenthetical statement I accidentally typed 'braid'. Ha! that makes a difference. Thank goodness for computers, they're so much nicer than ink, or even typewriters.) (See, I can be just as random and distract-able in a blog as on a vlog.) Um, where was I? Oh yes- motivation. Truth is that I frequently have time in which I could write a family email on Sundays or a blog post whenever. I (especially up until I started grad school) frequently had oooodles of time on my hand. But I just would've rather watched another episode of The Magic School Bus on Netflix (true story) than write about what I consider my boring life and observations. So, my lack of motivation to actually write a blog post I think stems from the age old problem of "eh, no one wants to hear about that so I'm not going to take the time to tell it." or "my life's really bland. There's nothing to say." Both of which, in general are false. Besides, when I started this blog didn't I state one reason I wanted to was to help me record for myself some things in my life that wouldn't get recorded otherwise? Why am I worried about what people are going to think about my blog? or if anyone's even going to read it? (That makes it sound like I'm trying to think of amazing things to impress whatever readers I may have from time to time and I'm desperate for people to read what I have to say. Hm, funny how a lack of inflection can do that to words.)
So, what did watching this fake vlog make me think?
1. I'm a pretty good storyteller if I may say so. (Aunt Elaine said she likes my emails. I'll take that as proof.)
2. I have random stuff that happens all the time in my life. And I love retelling silly stories and making snarky comments.
3. If I can't use my blog for that, what can i use it for? I don't have any kids to blog about (which is what the majority of my friends who actually still blog write about. And really, who can blame them. Kids kinda tend to take over your life. And people seem to think they're pretty cute.) I don't have any big causes that I'm into or passions that I want to write about (Don't get me wrong, you start talking about education in the US and I'll get going, but I don't want to write about that.. blah.) So one way I'm going to be a better blogger is by being a storyteller.
Now, this again comes back to why I started this in the first place. I don't do too well with journals because I tend to write like Charles Dickens. (if only I got paid by the word for my works...) I tend to be overly detailed and ramble a bit when I record events (have you noticed?) So that can sometimes be demotivating since I don't usually like the idea of "I'm going to get on my blog and write a mini novel for whoever actually reads these things." But I have been trying something. I've started a new journal project that is forcing me to keep it short, so maybe I can follow suit here and not get bogged down by the weight of finishing such lengthy stories and such.

So, to start us off today here's a question:
If something happens but no one is there to tweet, update, snap-chat, instagram, or otherwise chronicle it on social media- did it actually happen?
(Well, of course it did. It's a comment on the over publication of our generation's personal lives.) (I wrote 'publisization'  and spell check changed it to 'publicaton'. I like publisization better...)
Well, I did something today that I've been wanting to do for a long time. It was silly and I had a good time. And for a second I thought "Hmm, too bad I don't have a camera or anything." But then I thought "Nope, it's better when it's real, not digital." So, what was it? I'm not going to say. That would chronicle it, and though this is not a typical social media site it would still be publicizing it, so it would defeat the whole point of my deep philosophical thinking. Sometimes it's kinda fun to do things 'off the grid'. If you want to know you'll have to ask me. The end.

(Kinda an ironic end to a post where the first 2/3s is about how I'm going to share more of my stories online.. ha.)

Pictures from my phone

I was thinking the other day how it's probably a good thing I don't have a fancy phone and Instagram. I'd probably end up being one of those lame-o people that post pictures of food and stupid stuff no one cares about. The main reason for this isn't that I actually think other people care about these things, but that I do (to some extent). I get so much joy out of everyday things like a great salad or a giant shoe that I would post it regardless of whether anyone else cares. I'd also probably run wild with #hastags because they're just so silly. So here we go- a sample, What if I had Instagram and used #s?
(and think, these are all pics I just took on my phone this year without instragram to post to. It would only get worse if I knew I had instagram to post to...)

Ooh, we're at the Parachute concert. Doesn't it look like fun? Aren't you glad I took a picture and posted it so you could all see how cool it is? Oh, what's that, you can't tell? Yeah.... #yourphonecameraisn'tthatgreat #stoptakingpicturesandenjoytheshow

Ah, legos. Ah, Star Wars. Ah, children's lit. It's a beautiful thing. This is from a 'book' my nephew got. #Noooooooooo #kidstillatheart #ilovelegos #beingsillyisthebest 

And this is only a size 20 or something, still smaller than Shaq's. #ginormous #theDIisthebest #peopleofDI #iamwearingsomanylayers #loganwinters

This is my niece. She's 5. she climbed it all by herself. She rocks. #mynieceisthecoolest #it'shardnotputtingpunctuationinthesethings #rockclimbingisthebest #futurerockstar

A friendly reminder from Mountain Crest High School #goingtothecafeteria #highschoollunch #yummy!

View from the patio behind the Crepery. #lastdayofschool #ilovetheoutdoors #ushistoryisneat #crepesarethebest #ruralfeelinginthemiddleoftown

Found at the farmer's market #thetardisisapeanut #thefarmer'smarketisthebest

Mmmmmm. Salad. #ithinkthisisn'thowthislookedinmyhead #healthyme #iactuallyaterealfood #morereasonstolovesummer #saladisthebest

First one was too small, second was too big... sigh. #newwallet #ducttapeisthebest #thanksmom

Did I mention I like duct tape? #Ilikeducttape #ducttapeforever #ducttapeisthebest

It's mine now! Fresh from the yard sale. #newtome #Yardsalesarethebest #toobadidon'tactuallymountainbikelikeever #guessishouldbuyahelmet #timeforanewhobby