More thoughts inspired by stuff in a book

I've been reading again. This time it's "American History- a very short introduction", same series as the WWI book. I guess it's an appropriate read since we'll celebrate our nation's formation later this week. It really give you some perspective on things when they condense American history, from pre-Colombian Native Americans to the current decade, into 130 pages of a book about the size of my hand. The actual fighting portion of the Civil War was recounted in about 2 pages. And this is a mini history of a country that's only less than 250 years old. Imagine the slightness of events viewed in the context of all of history. It's pretty impressive to consider how young our country still is in the history of the world.

However, the thought that got me up and writing wasn't a patriotic one. As I read a few lines on women abolitionists, who also took up the women's rights movement, and experience from yesterday came back to me. Story:
I was asked a few weeks ago to speak in sacrament meeting yesterday. I enjoy speaking in church and accepted the invite. I prepared in my usual manner of studying as much about the subject in as many different directions as I can then after letting it all sit for a couple days I'll come back and compose some sort of general outline with what the goal of the talk is. This allows me to be able to adjust easily to the actual amount of time I have to speak- because it's never the 12 minutes they ask you to prepare for. Well, as it turns out there were to be 3 speakers yesterday, myself and another girl and a guy. After talking to the guy before Sunday school Brother Strong, who would be conducting the meeting, came over and asked me if I'd be ok as the last speaker. Sure, no prob. Then he continued "Yeah, I just spoke to [whatever his name was] and he said his talk is about 8 minutes. I usually have the guy go last so he can accordion his talk to fit the remaining time, but it doesn't look like that would work in this case." I said I would be glad to be last and accordion my talk as needed. What went through my head was a sarcastic "Yeah, cuz a guy is better at speaking/adjusting length so he goes last..." not that I was terribly offended by this perceived slightly sexist comment- the thought just rolled through my head and gave me a good laugh at poor Bro. Strong's subconscious "blunder". The reason I think it caught my ire is because I consider speaking and teaching to be one of my better natural abilities. So while he didn't mean it as such I initially reacted to it as a jab at my abilities as a orator. I spoke last, for about 25 minutes. (The other two talks probably averaged a length of 7 minutes.) But that's another story.
Later I was telling this story to my oldest sister (who interestingly enough is probably one of the only people who will actually read this. Hi Slick!) to which she countered by pointing out that the guy would go last traditionally as a sign of respect for the women. The women could deliver their discourse as planned without concern of time and then the poor guy at the end would have to find more to say or cut out everything he wanted to say to accommodate the time left in the meeting. By George- this makes perfect sense. I was caught. I had no response. I can't remember actually saying anything- and it was probably pretty weak if I did- for the rest of that part of the conversation. She continued to point out that many things that used to be a sign of respect are now perceived as slights against women because that's not how they want to be respected anymore- they wanted to be treated as equals.

So, as I was reading about abolitionists who picked up the cause of women's rights because their marginalization by the men at the time I thought back to this event yesterday. You know what I realize? I'd been sucked in by the modern feminist movement. gack! If someone were to ask me if I consider myself a feminist I would say that I am, but not a modern feminist. I believe in the power of women, and that they should be respected and have equal rights with men- but that doesn't mean we have to be the same as men or become like men. I just think we should be able to do whatever work call to us and be fairly treated in it. I also think that includes the choice to stay at home as a mother, and that we should not be derided for that choice by those who choose another path. Sometime I sit and shake my head at the "crazy feminist ladies" in the news and the media. I think though my sister was probably internally shaking her head at her poor little sister who had gone astray down the path of crazy feminist lady. (I could be wrong, but it makes the point, so just run with it.) I had automatically assumed the worst about the comment made by a man who I know is very respectful to women and who's wife is a wonderful, capable, strong lady. I'd stepped onto the dark side.
I think my sister's comment is an interesting point though. She said that women don't want to be respected by being treated special, but want to be treated equally. I think it's just that the idea of respect has changed. We want to be respected, not babied. We want to be recognized as people with brains and stuff. I know I don't mind letting a kind gentleman carry my groceries for me if 1. I actually do need help, or 2. I know that he respects me as a capable person and not as useless girl. (Tip to boys: Instead of saying "You got that ok?", "Need help?" or other things that imply that she doesn't have it ok, try "I'd like to help you with that if I may." It's way easier to say yes to.) I think that's the reason a lot of women shy away from conventional forms of men showing respect to women is because we are talented, capable, independent people- and we don't like feeling like someone thinks we're not. Call it pride if you will, but I think sometimes it's ok to have some pride in who you are. So my reception to a gesture of respect will largely depend on my confidence in my nature as a strong woman. I am a strong woman, therefore I can let a guy lug my luggage up the stairs for me, even though I could do it myself, because I know he's just trying to be kind and respectful. I can let him open a door, walk me to the car, or even speak last in church because I know that it doesn't change who I am.
So basically for your average daily interactions:
Dear Guys: Be respectful, not patronizing. We can tell the difference.
Dear Women: It's ok. You are a capable person. You know you are- now, let the guys be nice.

Acupuncture and Networking

Today I had flaming needles sticking out of my back.

Yep.
I've been to a chiropractor a few times, for neck issues at first but adding in knee and wrist more recently. It just so happens that my chiropractor also does acupuncture. I don't know that I really believe in it or not, but it's not going to do me any harm either so I just go with it. It's a unique experience. Most of the time you don't even feel any pain as they go in, just a little poke. Then once it's in you don't really feel it, you just know it's there- sticking out of you. They'll play some nice Enya or something and you just get to chill for a few minutes then they come and pluck them all out and that's it. Today I had my neck, knees, and wrists all adjusted. After the adjustments my chiropractor lead me, not to the usual room for some acupuncture, but down the hall to another hall with 2 rooms in it. In one is a guy with a smouldering ball of something on a pin sticking out of his shoulder. Into the other one I go and am peppered with pins- I've never felt so much like a pin cushion in my life. Then comes the sound of the match and the smell of smoke. I couldn't tell any difference, but it's something else I can say I've done. When the nurse came back and plucked out my pins she forgot the ones in my wrist, so I got to see those as I asked her to take them out. It's a strange sight to have big silver pins sticking out of your hand.

As I was sitting there contemplating the strange thing that was going on I decided to write this post, and I just planned on writing what I did above- but then I though another interesting thing- I never would have sought out a chiropractor who did acupuncture. In fact I'm pretty sure I would have avoided it when chiropractor shopping. How did I end up here? Networking. My chiropractor is the father of an acquaintance from a few years ago. It made picking a chiropractor pretty easy. I don't know that I even would've started going to a chiropractor had I not known this guy. This got me thinking about the other things I've tried because of someone I knew- rock climbing, sushi, grad school... Yep- I probably wouldn't have done grad school in math if I hadn't gotten to know Dave as an undergrad. Before today I would always just think of networking as meeting people in hopes of getting a leg up on a job- but that's not really what it's about. Networking is all about meeting people who will help you try new things, get out and explore... Take chances! Make mistakes! Get messy! I can see now that as my set of friends and acquaintances stagnates so does my exposure to new experiences. I guess it's time to get out an meeting new people.

A century later...

I'm amazed, looking back at my education to this point, at how much I have not learned. I have done pretty well in school, yet somehow seem to have not actually learned a lot about many things I supposedly knew enough about to get good grades in the classes about them. It's maybe a statement about the system, but I won't go there today. I would rather talk about The First World War.
  I was at the library last week and became reacquainted with a book series called "(fill in the blank), A Very Short Introduction". They're just what they sound like. Ranging from 100-150 pages long and basically pocket sized they offer a quick start on a very wide assortment of subjects. Since I recently had been contemplating my astounding lack knowledge of history I selected a few of these I thought might be interesting. My first read was about WWI, which I thought appropriate since it is the 100th anniversary of the start of that war. Oh my. I was sucked in. By the end of it's 119 pages I was astounded by many things, one of which was how little I actually knew about WWI before reading this "Very Short Introduction". And most of what I did know I learned from a John Green youtube video...
Now, if you know a lot about WWI, this post probably won't be very interesting to you- except for you to laugh at my incredibly limited understanding of that war... Just a warning. If, like me, you never had an actual good study of this chunk of history, read on for some interesting tidbits.

What I "knew" about WWI:
-It happened in Europe. America joined in eventually.
-Trenches. Lots of trenches.
-Something about Flanders Field.
-Lots of people died.
-It started because of Germany, as it usually does.
-It had something to do with Franz Ferdinand and Serbs.
-France got invaded, as they always do.

Really, if you had quizzed me about WWI I wouldn't have done very well. Now some thoughts on things I learned from my brief study of the war-

-It didn't actually really start entirely with Germany. With the assassination of Franz Ferdinand the Austro-Hungarians saw an opportunity to go to war and Germany backed them. Germany got all the blame though because they kept fighting after everyone else in their alliance fell apart.
-It's startling how well Germany/Austria-Hungary did in the war. If they had stuck to their original plan of crushing France before rushing over to fight the hapless Russians, they probably would've won. As it was, even with their infighting and aspiring generals they still managed to outlast Russia and take (for a short time) everything stretching from Poland to Finland. Because of this and their eventual defeat all those countries were created along that strip- including the two aforementioned. The Austrians succeeded pretty much only because they were fighting groups even less competent then they were. In the end they just managed to out last the Russians socially and politically. The Germans, however, seemed to be the best fighters in the war. They were better organized, more prepared, and more innovative than the Allies. Again, it seems that if it weren't for the disunity in the military and political scene they would have dominated. As it was their focus shifted back and forth from one front to the other creating no progress on either until Russia imploded. By then, though, the war had gone on so long their own country was suffering and their other choices were to come back and bite them pretty hard.

-America hardly had anything to do with this war. It seems we just came in as the closers. We contributed much throughout the war in the way of trade and shipping, but we were essentially neutral, always calling for peace. Imagine if the blockade against Germany hadn't been so strong we probably would've been supplying them as well as the Allies. And I guess it makes sense. The causes of both sides of the fight had nothing really to do with anything the US cared about. Why should we pick a side? Neither side was entirely right or wrong as far as ethics go, so until Germany started sinking our ships why should we favor one side or the other? Nowadays we see Brittan as a natural ally, but that is because of this war and the one that followed. At the time they were still a competitor and the country we'd just fought 2 wars against. But, thanks to Germany sinking our ships and Allied propaganda eventually we did join the party- just in time to finish it. It seems the real value of the US joining the war was just that our soldiers were well fed, not battle weary, and numerous. They hadn't been hanging out in trenches for the past 4 years, and it showed. It seems the biggest victory of having the Americans was the crushing of the morale of the German soldiers. Heck, they were only actually involved in the war for a few months before the armistice. A tidal wave of fresh leg-ed boys dropped into the last mile of a marathon.
-Germany tried to get Mexico as an ally. That would've been something. They promised Mexico they could have Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona back. Ha. Can you imagine Mexico attacking the US? Can you imagine Mexico taking back Texas?
-The sides were not the same as they were in WWII, the war I somehow gleaned more knowledge of in school than I did of WWI. For some reason I assumed Germany always had the same friends. Actually, Japan, Italy, and Romania all fought against Germany the first time round.  Also the Ottoman Empire (Turkey) was an ally of Germany too. I didn't even know they were involved in either of the World Wars.
-Spain and Portugal never participated militarily in either World War. And somehow Switzerland managed to stay neutral, despite being smack in the middle of the action. How did they ever manage that?
-France wasn't actually overrun by Germany. In fact, they never even got to Paris. Turns out the two world wars were actually different things...
-The sheer amount of destruction and loss of life is almost unbelievable. I guess it was just an awkward transition between the old ways of fighting wars and what was required with the advent of new technologies. Just so sad.
-I also was impressed at how WWI really set up WWII. Everything that happened at the end of the war paved the path for Hitler's rise to power and a nation of people who would support him. Also WWI brought in the Russian revolution and Communism. What a legacy.

Yeah, I learned a lot. It's an interesting thing to commemorate 100 years since the beginning of one of the deadliest and most destructive wars in history. 100 years ago the world changed forever. It doesn't even seem like there's very much of a silver lining to say "But at least..."  I guess the main emotions I had at the end of the book was just awe at how lucky the Allies were to win (I mean, they were pretty impressively incompetent.) and how sad it is that it even happened in the first place. It changed everything, but accomplished nothing. So, a century later- what's the take away? I don't know. Anyway, I feel much enlightened and am looking forward to learning more as this centennial year goes on. It's good to remember.

A thought from the Ensign

Wow, apparently I haven't posted anything since November! How time flies. I break my non-blogging streak today as my second 1060 class takes their test. I've been filling the time by shopping for climbing shoes and reading the Ensign for this month. Test days are so exciting like that...

Lately the Ensign has been having an article or two specifically for the young adults. I'm really glad that they do that. Sometimes I feel like we could almost have our own magazine like the Friend (and it would probably include a cartoon strip and search and find pictures in it too). At the end of one of these articles in this month's Ensign they had a side bar with a quote from Pres. Uchtdorf: “[Heavenly Father] didn’t send you on this journey only to wander aimlessly on your own. He wants you to come home to Him..." only when I read it my brain read "He wants you to come unto Him..." both good. I'm going to talk about the second one...

I've been feeling a little adrift these last few years, like it didn't matter what I did or where I went- as long as I wasn't getting into trouble. It's hard to sit in church and have people talk about how they've been specifically guided as to where to go or what to do in their lives. It's sometimes hard to hear the promises of leaders and in talks that 'If you only ask the Lord will show you what He wants of you" and feel like you're just getting left alone. Sometimes the things people say can mess with your head, honestly. You start thinking "Well, maybe I'm just not being faithful enough", or "Well, maybe it really doesn't matter what I do with my life. Maybe there is no plan for me" or whatever. I think that's why Pres. Uchtdorf's words meant so much to me as I read them. No matter whether there is a best place for me to be right now, or best thing for me to be doing, or if this is just burning time for a while- no matter what I always have a purpose and direction. That is to come closer to Christ and my Father in Heaven. That is always a cause to be actively pursuing.

When I first started rock climbing I mainly went with my friend Mark. I would get part way up the climb, far enough that the holds and best route aren't really visible from the ground, and I'd get stuck. I wasn't very trusting in my shoes yet, and I was inexperienced in falling (it's really not bad. That's what the rope and harness are for...) and so I would stand on whatever footing I had and feel around for something big enough to hold onto or step on. Eventually I would call down to Mark "Where do I go?" His response was always the same "Up!". Not really what I was looking for, but exactly right. It doesn't matter what holds I use or route I take, as long as I'm going up I'm closer to my goal. When you move side to side it can become more dangerous the farther you go. Now when I take people climbing and they ask that to me I answer happily, "Up!" (And then laugh inside at their dismay, cuz I've totally been there.)

Similarly, when we get stuck in life often times we want a specific answer- go here, do this, don't do that. We will receive those as needed, but most often I think the answer is just "Up." Do what you need to do to learn of Christ, teach of Christ, follow his teachings, and come to know him better.  Repent, make better habits, try harder to spend more time or better quality time with Him and his words. If we're doing that then we will not be lost, rather we'll have an assurance that we are on the right path in the part that matters most. And, then when those specific directions are in order we'll be in tune to understand them and have the faith to follow.

An unusual thanksgiving list

It's Thanksgiving day and I thought I would join in the spirit of the day by saying a few things that I am grateful for. Naturally I am grateful for my family, health, schooling opportunities, friends, house, car, clothing, computer, and country. I'm especially grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ that gives me direction and hope every day. But I've had a few things this last week or so that I've become aware of that I've realized how grateful I am for.

I'm grateful that I have learned to choose to be happy. I was blessed to have a generally happy personality from the get go, I don't often get down in the dumps for long. But of course it's not sunshine and roses all the time. There are times it's ok to be sad, so I'm definitely not saying you have to be grinning like a fool happy 24/7, but you definitely don't have to be in the depths of despair every time something doesn't go your way. One of the catch phrases from this last summer was "It's ok, the church is still true." I'm grateful that I learned to have that attitude a long time ago. Things aren't going your way? It's ok, things will work out. Eat some ice cream then pick yourself up and go enjoy the sunshine and the good things around you. God's got your back, trust in him and you'll be just fine.

I'm grateful that I love to read. It's not something I am always in the mood for, but I really love books and reading. I received a surprise a while back when the Wall Street Journal showed up on my driveway. It's part of my Christmas present this year from Christine. At first I thought, what am I going to do with this? But I've really enjoyed it. I read the BBC news regularly, blogs, history, fiction, church books...  I gain a lot, I feel, through reading and I'm grateful that it has been a part of my life from the start.

I'm grateful that I learned to be socially proactive. It's still nice to be invited to do things, but I no longer wait for it. I figure, I'll invite people and if they don't want to play they'll say no. I can't even imagine where I would be today if I hadn't learned to change that attitude after high school. I certainly wouldn't have the great friends I have now or have had in the past. I'm grateful for my friends and the great times we've had together and the things I've learned from them.

I'm grateful that I have learned to give people the benefit of the doubt. I've learned that the way someone behaves towards me probably doesn't have much to do with me. I've learned that I don't know what's in people's heart and for the most part people try their best. I've learned a little bit about compassion and trying a bit harder to be a bit more like Christ. I still fail miserably a lot, sometimes inadvertently sometime cuz I'm just not there yet, but I see progress and that makes me thankful for the Savior and his Atonement that makes it possible.

And I'm thankful for my brain and the way it works. I'm really grateful that I'm a logical thinker and can usually maintain some sort of objectivity and think through problems and find answers. I'm sure I'd be grateful for whatever cranial talents I received, but I like the ones I did.

Well, don't know what you got out of that, but I hope you can find some more things to be grateful for this season of thanksgiving- beyond the standard list. Have a great turkey day!

Once, we had a band.

Once upon a time Tanner, Tia, and I played a song for our ward talent show. A little while later Tanner, Abby, and I played a different song for Tanner's ward talent show. (It's the last one we play in this video) Then we added Becca and we had our band. Tanner plays the guitar and writes most of the music. Abby plays the accordion. I play the ukulele and tambourine and hand drum. Becca plays violin. She's pretty great. I don't know if she ever plays the same thing twice, she just makes it up as she goes. Unfortunately she leaves for Romania for her mission later this month. But, maybe we can find someone else to fill her shoes somewhat. Anyway, we played a show at the local venue a while ago. We played mostly songs Tanner wrote and one by the Decemberists. (it's the last one.) Ashley was kind enough to video it. She was on the front row, so not all of us fit in the screen- but it's ok, tambourine's the least fun to watch. Enjoy!

Blessings in strange forms

Sometimes I have stories from my life that I think- boy, if I ever were to speak at General Conference this would be a good story for that... Don't pretend like you've never done that. Ok, so maybe not GC, but maybe one day I'll tell it in a talk or a lesson or something. Story time:

Once upon a Tuesday, about a month ago, I was heading up to campus for my afternoon class and was then going over to Ashley's house so I didn't ride my bike but drove instead. I was thrilled to see a spot open at the bottom of Old Main Hill and snatched up the parking spot. I went to class and did some homework for a while then headed back to my car. I got in, started it up, checked for cars on the road, and then spotted something on my windshield. It was yellow. It made me sad. It was a parking ticket. Apparently at some point since last time I was a student they changed that whole side of the street to 3 hour parking. I was parked right in front of a sign saying so, but in my haste to make it to class I didn't even notice it. I definitely deserved the ticket, but I was still upset by it. As a teaching grad student I got paid each month for my teaching the previous month. This means I didn't get paid until the beginning of October, so basically I was on a tight budget in September. I had many more things I wanted to spend $20 on. But I put it out of my mind by shoving the ticket in between the seats of my car, planning on returning to it when I was a bit calmer. Yeah, didn't happen. Because of that the price increased to $40, which really made me sad. But at least now I could wait until I got paid to pay it, then it wouldn't be as big of a hole in my wallet.

Fast forward a couple weeks. I check my phone after a class and see I got a voice mail from Mom. It was telling me that I got a letter from the police about my ticket. I called her back and explained what happened, so not to worry about the letter. As we say goodbye Mom said something about getting on it and paying it soon so the price doesn't go up. Um, the ticket was almost a month ago, the price has gone up. But the letter apparently said that if I paid it within 10 days of getting the letter I'd only pay the $20 original fee. Sweet! So I had Mom scan in the letter and email it to me so I could hold them to that when I went to pay my ticket, who wants to pay $40 if you can get away with $20? I open up the email and first thing that stands out is the line that says "Make: subar" and I thought "subar? Does that mean Subaru? I don't drive a Subaru..." then I noticed the license plate had 5PM as the last 3 digits. I don't have my license plate memorized, but I would if it had 5pm in it! This surely wasn't my car. The ticket was for residential parking violation, not even the same place as mine. I didn't quite know what to do. I laughed a little and stared at the screen in disbelief a lot. I didn't even know who I'd go talk to in order to get it straightened out. Then a shiny blue button on the screen caught my eye "Appeal". Done. Reason? It's not my car!

Today I got an email in response to my appeal. Somehow something got crossed when they were putting in tickets and my address ended up with someone else's ticket. As a consequence they decided they'd scrap the late fee on my actual ticket if I'd appeal it or give them a call. Yeah, I think I can do that. When I read the email I just laughed. Who'd have thought that accidentally getting the wrong ticket letter could be a blessing?

I think this is pretty representative of life. So many times we look at something that's happening and think "Why? It's just weird/not fair/hard/sad/awkward...." but really without those moments we wouldn't be able to receive blessings later on. I think it's also a good reminder that even though we make mistakes and don't always make the best choices if we will turn to the Lord there is a way for things to get fixed. I had thought a couple of times about how I could get them to not charge the late fee (wishful thinking, you know) but never in my wildest dreams would I have come up with a scheme like that. Turns out Heavenly Father's a pretty smart dude. I definitely deserved the ticket and the late fee, but I'm glad that Heavenly Father saw it as an opportunity to remind me that he's there and cares about even the relatively small things going on in my life.

Ok, maybe it's kinda long for a talk, but still a pretty cool story I think. I guess a blog post will just have to do for it.